So a long time ago... I was probably 12... although I can't say that with a lot of certainty.  Anyway.  There was a hairstyle that I really wanted, and I finally found a picture of it.  Except it was the girl on the Hanes Her Way Bikini underwear.  So I didn't want to take that into the salon because it was clearly underwear wrapping.  I thought about just cutting her head out, but I thought the smile she had was super obvious that she was enjoying those cotton bikini's.  So I never did get my hair cut exactly like that because I was embarrassed.  Just now I was playing with my hair and thought, it is now exactly what I wanted all those years ago.  I didn't even have to have someone cut it that way, it has just been growing out and did it on its own.  So there you go.

An update

My last post was pretty dark. I have been so sick and tired of hurting! I went to the doctor last week and he gave me new meds (Lyrica) for my sciatic pain in my leg. So far I have been pretty impressed that I has been working. Right now my leg is hurting because I shopped all morning, and in turn I am paying for it now. I also didn't bring my purse... Which had the ibuprofen in it. Dang.
I also had an MRI last week and it was confirmed that I have a herniated disc in my lower back. The doc said he could see the nerve root being pinched, and that was what was giving me the sciatica. So I got a referral to the pain clinic, and on dec 4th I go in for an epidural. I have high hopes that this will help. I have been reading up on it and an epidural combined with physical therapy and not doing anything overly hard, that should help me heal.
If you prayed, thank you so much. I would have loved for the doctor to just fix me somehow... But this solution works well for now.

I have been dealing with a problem with my back for a while. I have a herniated disc that has been tolerable for the last few months. And by tolerable I mean I can work, sort of. I had been getting a lot better, and then all of the sudden a couple weeks ago it got really bad again. Yeah my back hurts... But it is also affecting the sciatic nerve in my leg. Initially it my leg was numb but that got better. Now all of the sudden my leg hurts. Like a Charlie horse x10. It's so bad that only sleep 4-5 hours at a time. And I love sleep. And I work overnight. So as you can imagine I am a mess. Pleas pray for me... That God can heal me, or at least give me sleep. Sitting, standing, laying down all hurt. Please pray!!!

I know I've said this before...

Yup. That's how I feel about hashtags on facebook.

just a note...

I have just a quick thing to say...
Why do they make the little loops to hook together measuring spoons?  I mean I know that people like to keep them "together,"  but it drives me nuts.  Just have a special spot in your utensil drawer, or a little cup for them.  I hate that when they are all together and you can't get them off the ring.  And then you have to wash them all because you can't get them off the fracking ring!
That's all.

Can't get enough

Seriously.

I have listened to this over and over and over again.  

They have the perfect fall album that expresses everything that I have been thinking lately.

Clearly, they are so much better with words and music than I will ever be.

So I will just listen over and over and over again.

ahhhh fall.

I had a long post... But then I changed my mind.  So have a great Wednesday!

My current favorite word - Don't read this if you are offended by mild cursing.

Shit.
I'm not kidding.
There are so many ways to use this word.
Shit. Batshit.  Flip shit.  shitballs (this one is especially awesome to hear a 2yo say).  Shitfaced.  holy shit.  Eating shit.  shitty.
I know I have more ways, but I forgot the rest.
Anyway... here's to a super day!  (betcha you thought I was going to say something else there.)

I know it looked like I was being mean

So I was super bummed to find out that Amy Poehler and Wil Arnett broke up last week.  I texted the news to my friend with a link to the article.  I didn't get a message back from her as soon as usual, but I was like whatever, she must be busy.  Later that night she posted two really sad songs on her blog, and a post that was pretty down too.  Then the next morning she texted me back and said "I saw that too, love is dead."  I got really freaked out and started wondering what in the world was going on, and asked her, but she never replied.  Then I found out later that day that she had broken up with her boyfriend.
I felt so. bad.
I bet she felt like I was rubbing salt in her wounds.
I am sort of writing this to her because I don't want to overwhelm her with people.
So my dear, I'm pretty sure that you read this, if you need me to hand deliver another batch of chocolate cookie dough, I totally will.

On breaking down in Olive Garden

I have a hard time with change.
And I will hold everything in.  Until it erupts in a mass of snot and tears at Olive Garden.
This summer has been a time of immense change, for me and the people around me.
I don't know how to change from here.  I know I need to find a new normal, but, to insert a whiny line here, it's hard!  I don't want to change, I want things to stay the same.
Ah, but it can't.
So, unable to keep my life the same way, I must move on.
I believe a coat of pink nail polish should do the trick.
Until next time Olive Garden.

Seattle

So every morning on the Lifetime channel they have a old sitcom that plays for a couple hours every day.  All  summer was Will&Grace.  It was a nice wind down every morning to come home from work and watch my favorite gay/straight disfunctional couple.
I was sad when they played all the seasons, but it was okay.  They started playing Fraiser.  And you know how I love a delightfully pretentious show about a quasi psychiatrist.
All the episodes about the elite of Seattle made me start thinking about a bestselling book that was based in Seattle.
How would Fraiser Crane and Christian Grey get along?  My guess is they wouldn't.  I mean, Christian Grey would go to Fraiser Crane for therapy, and then Fraiser would fall in love with Ana, and then Christian would kill him.
Just a theory.
Why do I think about fictional characters fighting???
Oh, that's right, I'm crazy.  NDB.

Also, could anyone give me photoshop so I could make a kick-ass mash up of the two characters that I mentioned?  Thanks.

I hate this clock

Alright.

The first time I saw this clock, I was all "oh yeah, that's super cute."

But the more I thought about it, the more I got upset.  Like REALLY upset.

As someone who is neurotically on time... It drives me bonkers when people can't think to get places on time.
Now I get it. Sort of.  Some people just can't get the concept of time.  And I am very sorry if you are one of those people.
That's all.

4 months till Christmas!

This has absolutely nothing to do with the date... Just thought that you should know.
So yesterday I posted about having problems with my back.  When I got home from work it hurt so bad that I couldn't find a comfortable position to lay in.  Plus it hurt to even move.  I did eventually drift off for a bit, but tried to roll over and woke myself up because the pain was so excruciating.
The pain is on the right side of my lower back, and then travels all the way down my sciatic nerve in my right leg.  That's just a fancy way of saying my whole leg hurts.  And I have lost feeling in two of my toes.
Awesome.
So any way.  When I was so rudely awaken by my back it was noonish... so I called my mom since I knew that she would be home for lunch.  Oh, I was crying too because of how much it hurt.  At that point I was trying to figure out a way to get to the hospital to go to the ER.  Not the best decision, but for me to want to voluntarily go to any ER means that something is wrong.  Seeing as how it was a weekday, she told me to call the doctor instead.  So I did and left a message with my doctors RN.  She called me back a few hours later and said that the doctor didn't think I needed to come in (I have a scheduled appt with him on wed for my yearly checkup) since I was going to be there soon, and gave me more drugs.  This time they were much stronger ones.  I don't know how I feel about this.
At this point all of the drugs that the doctor has put me on have been ones that I see my patients on and I judge them for taking such medicines.
Its all very frustrating.
I did fall asleep for a while after I called my mom, and when I talked to the nurse.
The second time that I was awake I was laying in bed looking at facebook on my phone when a call popped up.  It wasn't a number that I knew, and generally I don't answer calls unless I recognize the number.  I figure if its important enough they can leave a message.
This one was a cell phone though, and for some reason I decided to answer it.
It turned out to be someone from the church that I sometimes go to.
On a side note.  I do know that I am a christian, but the past few years have been hard for me, church wise. I haven't wanted to be any part of an organized religion for various reasons, so I had just been going sporadically.
Anyway.
The girl that was calling said she was just checking in on me and wanted to know how I was doing and wanted to know if there was anything they, as a church, could do for me.
I was shocked.  Up to this point I had pretty much been relying on myself to get better.  I never thought that maybe there were people that I could reach out to that cared.
When did I get this way?  I used to have no problem letting people know when I needed something, and helping when people needed it.
Honestly, I am still trying to process yesterday.
I wanted to call in sick to work so badly because when I woke up for work I hurt so badly.
But I made it in.  Although when I was talking to my friend and telling her how the day was I started crying.  And then started crying again when I tried to tell another nurse why I was having such a hard time with stuff and that I would be little more that a warm body that night.
I did tell the girl what was going on and that it just so happened that I was having a really bad day.  She prayed with me and I cried all the way through.
I don't really have any great way to end this post... I feel like I am still in the process of writing it.
So lets call this the end of the chapter.

Physical therapy

I am convinced that physical therapy, chiropractic care, and doctors can do nothing.  My back hurts so much right now and NOTHING is making it better.  Its been like this for going on 4 weeks now and no one knows what is wrong.
Plus when I am at work I have the hardest time doing stuff because it is all bending and twisting and things like that.  I know my co-workers are upset, but there isn't anything to do about it.  I would call in sick but I am out of PTO to cover my shifts.
Alright... I think I am done ranting.

You wanna know something awesome?

I declared today to be a pajama's only day.  It is currently 1607 and I haven't even left my apartment.  Not even to go out on the deck.
I plan on showering later and putting clean ones on.
You wanna know what is not awesome?
I have a herniated disc in my back, and it is quite painful.  I have been going to the chiropractor and getting traction and adjustments there.  I have been to the doctor twice for pain... and both times he gave me meds and told me to take them and hope I get better.  Although the second time I went he did order x-rays to rule out any tumors.  Good thing that was clear.  I have been reading up on this and the only way to know exactly what is wrong you have to have a MRI.  But you have to jump through a bunch of hoops first so the insurance will pay out.  So I also have been going to psychical therapy... and I don't really think that it is doing anything... but its one of those hoops we have to jump through.
Also I start school next week and I don't know what books to get.  Every time I check the website to order them from the bookstore it "can't find" those books.
Merg.
Oh well.

Good News!

I got a new computer for my birthday! Its a long story as to why I got one... And I'm not going to bore you with the details.
But it means that I will (hopefully) be posting more.
Maybe I will get out my camera and actually take pictures now that I have a place to store them... and not just use my iphone.
My one big complaint is that the space bar sticks.
I know.
#firstworldproblems
Does it bug anyone else that people use hashtags on facebook? I know most of them are moms that don't realize what they are doing, but still.  Its annoying.
Only because I am super controlling.
Letting it go.
I am going to bed now... You know I'm tired when things like hashtags drive me up the wall.

I have been awake too long.

So I am essentially starting school over again this fall. But I will be done a semester-ish earlier.
I am super excited... But super afraid of failure.
But I can do it.
On another note... Here's a pic of my mom and sister after their 50 mile bike ride. (that's 45 more miles than I will go).

And there a pic of my drive home. Love it.

Saturday

I like this blog to every once in a while dump some of what I am thinking. I don't know I anyone reads this... Sometimes I don't really care. But it is good for me to get stuff out.
At this point in the day I have been up for 23 hours. I worked last night ten went to the dm farmers market with my mom and favorite sister(I have two sisters and a sister in law but still have a clear favorite.).
Where was I? Oh yes. Farmers market... Then shopping in west dm. Lovely day (VERY HOT) but I did find a pair of brown calf height boots with a small heel at dress barn for $13. Beyond exciting.
Love clearance.
Also my friend started a blog. Love her! Lschuelka.blogspot.com
Read it.

Dawn dish soap

Is there anything that stuff can't do? Seriously.
It gets baby animals clean.
It gets your dishes clean.
It gets your cars clean. (I did have a picture to insert here but I must have deleted it. Picture my brother and two munchkins washing Nick's brand new car.)
My mom said that consumer reports said there was no difference between aldi brand dish soap and dawn dish soap. I beg to differ.
Mostly because it can get baby animals clean.
I would say that their marketing was successful.

Impromptu girls night

My brother is home this week and we were all going to go to a Cubs game as a family. Then my dad couldn't go because he had to work. Then nick couldn't go because he had to visit his in-laws. (Autumn couldn't make it this trip). Then Philip decided he didn't want to go since it was so hot. I don't blame him. Here are some picture from our night :).
Mom learned how to photo bomb tonight... See if you can figure out which ones it is :). Also that random guy is pretty much the best fan ever.

On sleep and dreaming

Alright.
I dream the most bizzare dreams.
Seriously.
I keep remembering yesterday's dream...
I was apparently in charge of our kingdom as our queen mother had gone to keep the peace somewhere. But at some point I had to go to school (I was seemingly in high school) an the only way to get to school was to take a swinging rope across the ocean. And some Amazonian girl who was my cousin met me at the cliff where the school was. The school looked small on the outside but was a huge maze on the inside, not unlike a T.A.R.D.I.S. (if you don't know what that is, google doctor who and tardia)
But what was most impressive about my dream is that Mr. Whitaker of adventures in odessey fame had his shop, Whit's End, connected in some way to the school and I got to meet him.
I also got to go shopping with my aunt, who was either a queen too, or in charge of the school, for school clothes and such. When she didn't know how much I was allowed to spend she video chatted with my mother... Except it wasn't Skype, it was more along the lines of those giant screen like in star trek when they would talk to others. ("on screen mr Spock")
I honestly don't think that my dream means anything... I just think that I have an overactive imagination that watches too much tv and reads a ton of books.
Also, I don't know who was watching the kingdom when I went away.

Relatives

I have been thinking about relatives. I have a TON of cousins. But I really only KNOW lime 7 at the most. But I am friends with all of them on Facebook. So we see updates about each other... But don't have any actual contact. Maybe what I am thinking is that social media is bizarre.
That's all.

Blerg

I had a whole post on my phone typed out... Then I went to do something else for a while and forgot to come back... And when I did it wasn't there.
Again, I say Blerg.

The gist of my post was that I moved. With someone that I met on Craigslist. And it has actually been kind of a good thing.
Also I now have off street parking which is awesome because I hate parking in the street, but I haven't been parking there because if I park on the street my car is in shade for 85% of the day.
That's all.

Big daddy

Yeah... That's not a creepy title at all.
Weird things my parents do...
Over ten years ago when Big Daddy came out my dad was flabbergasted... He was convinced that Adam Sandler had died years before. He couldn't figure out why he was making movies when he was dead. It took several WEEKS to convince him otherwise. Keep in mind... This was before google was readily available on our phones... Really before everyone had phones.
I do remember my dad always having a cell phone... Even those ones that were bigger than a normal house phone... I digress... My parents do wacky things.

Rainbow cake!!!

I made a rainbow cake for my little cousins birthday... So fun!

Ruminations

I have been ruminating lately about several blog posts. I want to be funny, and post cute pictures, but that doesn't seem quite right. I don't think I have any deep dark post either that are waiting to get out...
They are all just a mash of ideas that can't quite agree with each other, and therefore are not ready to surface.
It doesn't help that my life seems to be at a cross roads right now... One way is the life I am not sure I am satisfied with... And the other way is the life that I'm not sure I want.
Ok. Maybe I will be a *little* dark today.
I could be really funny right now and tell you where I am posting from, but you will just have to guess.

Mostly, what I have been feeling is I have a store that needs to be written. I am almost positive that it isn't about me... But you never know where these things lead.

You know that moment before you dive? Yeah. It's time to dive.

I finally took the plunge and got another tattoo. I only had to think about this particular one for three+ years. Also, if you have read before, I am now even tattoo wise... One on my left foot and one on my right hand. (if I was super clever I would reference the previous post about having to have an even number of tattoos and piercings on each side of my body. But I'm not clever today). Also I had to take my nose piercing out... Turns out I was allergic to the metal that they used... So it never did really heal right, even when I thought it was healed, it wasn't. It finally got so it was hurting... Soni took it out to see if it needed cleaned, and it drained. Super gross. When I went to put a plastic one in... It wouldn't let me. Lame.
So anyway. I don't think I will be getting another piercing any time zoo... Because I don't know what I would get now. I have two tattoos in mind that I want to get... But the next one won't be for two years, and the other one will be in three-ish years.
Now you know.
I might add a little to this one... Time will tell.

Happy VD

A few years ago my mom texted my on valentines day and said "happy VD". I took that as happy veenarial disease. Yes, I am aware that I'm not spelling that right but I can't figure it out. I told her that what it looked like and from then on every year mom says happy VD.
So I am passing in the VD greetings to you.

Vacation

Yes, I know it's been a while.
Get over it. I got rid of my laptop because I never used it... So any typing I do on my iPhone or iPod. Or the computer at work but I don't like to use those for personal things.

Anyway.

I'm on vacation in Florida, and it is glorious. We are staying at a kick-ass resort that has a million pools and is amazing. So far we have got to Harry Potter world at Universal Studios... And spent the day at the ocean playing. And just playing at the resort... There is a ton of stuff to do!!! Everyone else went to discovery cove today, but I needed alone time and has already planned on not going.

So now I am lying in a hammock enjoying the weather. I will hopefully attach a couple pictures...

Tv

We have a tv in every bedroom of this house. But none in a living room. My 7 year old cousin recently asked what we do when we are all in the living room together :).
I thought I should start off 2012 by posting something completely ridiculous.
Mission accomplished.